Need to get over to DS and DC today and do some work. After I message Marc asking him if he knew that Azure left and letting him know that DC is dying out fast he apparently decided to get involved again. He made updates to all the pages. I'm glad. But I suppose as per our messages I'll be maintaining the front page Spotlight and Features there as well from now on. I'm so glad Azure is back. I hate that she felt so out side of things but I do get it. Didn't notice if she back as an admin though. And Missy has joined. Another really talented addition. We're growing, slowly but surly. Hell, we might even make 100 members before the years up. I'm so irritated with myspace. They're not allowing our links to either site to go through. I messaged them and I can't remember the exact wording but the response was that they are not allowing social network links at this time. Wonder if there is any way around that. Like if I were to upgrade would that make a difference.

Meds are making me sick this morning. But I got a good full nights sleep, no dreams or I can't remember any anyway. Which is good. I feel better. Been a rough past few nights. I can't believe Dwayne stuck by me and talked me through. Told him I have days like this when I just fall apart and he said "Give it to me baby. Give it all to me. I got this." Look at how far we've come in just two months? It's so incredible. So perfect. You need to just let this happen Tammy you really do. He's not going to hurt you and he's everything you have always wanted. You deserve this. Don't push him away.

Jessica sent him the cutest message on his myspace page. It was so funny. He sent her and Jesse a friend request and she accepted and sent him the comment on his page. Hold on I'm going to go get it and post it here. Brb.

"
Sure, friends is cool. Just as long as you take the BEST care of my mother. I mean it. I'll put the beat down on ya if you make even sad. But I'm sure you treat her like a queen. So yeah I'm sure we'll be good friends. Be happy Dwayne."


Isn't that cute. I'll put the beat down on ya. Dwayne loved it. That sweet beautiful man felt he had to do a re-write. But I thought it was perfect. He's perfect. Don't know what I did to deserve him but thank you.

PILLOW PRAYERS

Now I lay me down to sleep

A howling heart and nails dug deep

So piercing through this plush down pad

Here; tears on pillows; “Platters” sadly,

Soundly clinched

With trembling breath I mouth,

Have mercy on this soul devout

Please don’t erase this chance from me

Or fake this truth I’m sure I see

As passion detonates my chest

Arresting this slow death I lived.

Don’t give to rake this jewel ‘cross felt

With hits that bust this promise dealt.

A gambler’s prayer to God’s ear bends

An offer sending any mention

Through my pillow playing her;

Lashed, secured that love interned,

My will redressed as her wellbeing

Bliss and whim with fears receding;

Angels scream for this brave Beauty

Glistening in Fortune’s portrait

Christened sultry songs to granite;

Raise me this true covenant binding

I will call; “all in”

While sliding mind and heart on table

Lay my life to steel this mark

Enabling dark horse miracles supplanting

Pillow panting prayers of ranting pleas

To love her over every boundary!

Or make my soul a penny in the sea,

Her love is all I ever needed,

She is all I’ll ever need